I Had To Love You
by SilverMoreau
Summary: Loving her own brother was a mistake. She knew that. But something catastrophic is going to happen that may change their lives and make it even worse. Rypay.


Okay, I just want to clarify things. This is a Rypay fic, so if this bothers you, you can always press the back button instead of leaving a flame complaining that they're "brother and sister". I like Rypays. Why? Because I believe they had so much chemistry that was all disregarded and put down by the fact that they're brother and sister. And just because I do Rypays won't reflect on what I believe in real life. In reality, I disapprove of incestuous relationships, having a twin brother of my own.

As for those who don't have any problems with these kind of stories, I'd like to say that this will be my first Rypay fic, even if I've already read a lot of Rypays in the past. I'm not exactly asking you to be nice, and I will appreciate it very much if you'd leave a review. I hope you enjoy it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Disclaimer: I do not own HSM nor do I own any of its characters. Insert witty line here stating why.

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Madness. 

I look out the window as we ride past the numerous buildings that I familiarize myself with. With these, I can tell we're going out of town. As the city landscape seems to escape from me as we go farther and farther, I spot different people going about with their business, doing different things at the same time. I figure that these people, as unique as they seem from each other, have their different stories in life. Some are happy, some are tragic, and some are best left untold. I start to wonder which mine belongs to.

Maybe this is why I'm called a drama queen. I make too much a big deal out of little things. I like to complicate matters. I think too much.

I stare out the window once more, but then I feel a sharp pang seep through my head, as if I were shot by a hundred bullets on the head in an instant.

"Ouch!"

"What's wrong, honey?" mom asked.

"Nothing, I just looked out too much at the window, that's all", I shrugged, rubbing my forehead and massaging my temples.

"Do you want me to get Mr. Bubbles from the van?" dad offered.

"No, I'll just try to get some sleep here", I answered, a little annoyed. I've had Mr. Bubbles since I was two. Don't get me wrong, I love Mr. Bubbles, but something about it just ticked me off.

"That's okay, Shar. You can sleep on my shoulder", Ryan suggested, smiling sheepishly.

I look at him, slightly startled by his sudden generosity as I reluctantly rest my head on his shoulder.

"Your head hurts, huh? That's because you think too much", he whispers, chuckling gently. I raise my eyebrow at him, my head still leaning on his shoulder, and pinch him lightly. He smiles at me warmly, so warm enough to make me melt inside.

Me melting at the sight of my twin brother's smile. Now that's a sight to see. I am haunted yet strangely enchanted by his mere presence. When they said that the sight of his hip shaking made every girl swoon, it exempted no one. To be excellent an actor to pretend to be irritated and high over her twin is definitely an understatement. No one can know the true feelings I hold for him.

Have you ever felt how something so horribly wrong could feel so right? I can only be wishful. What if, we weren't related? What if I wasn't the Ice Queen as everyone knew? Would that make things right? God knows how long when I stopped seeing him as my brother but as the boy I adored the most.

_He's your twin_, the sentence that keeps ringing in my head. Twin is the damned word that haunts my every night and every waking moment no matter what I do. It's there, as if to taunt me, to remind me where the world stood, where my limitations were. Where fantasies remained fantasies and a promise of a dream had been long forgotten. It was too risky to cross boundaries.

Oh, how I long to kiss those soft, pink lips of his when he speaks, as if heaven came slipping down his tongue. How he plays with those beautiful eyes of him that twinkled when he smiled or when he looked at Gabriella. With that leaves me in my stature, forlorn and left hanging in a desire that is just so wrong.

I even wonder if he dangles himself on purpose as if to tease and tempt me into losing control, wanting more and more of him, and if he feels the same way as I crazily do about him. But, I realize, it's just a crazy fantasy of mine.

And here I am now, with my head over his shoulder as his arm is wrapped around me. And yes, what a sensation it brings me, that sends tingles down my spine. In a way, the way we touch makes me feel more connected to him than I've ever been. How I wish this moment would never end.

I have contemplated all of this, indulging and enjoying the moment while it still lasts, as I close my eyes and drift myself to a deep sleep.

What's the word to describe this? Madness. Madness, for no matter what I do, what I try to change, it won't change the fact that this longing for Ryan is just wrong in so many ways.

And yes, I admit. I am in love with my twin brother, Ryan Anthony Evans.

Madness. Dear God, help me, for I must be mad.

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So, what do ya think of this first chapter? And I'm sorry if it's kind of short, cut it some slack, it's only the first chapter,lol. I really hope you liked it. Please review! 


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